joshua1101's Xanga

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 12:49:27 GMT

He's 21 today!

So leave him some birthday wishes!!!

I love you honey!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 02:02:28 GMT

OK OK OK i havent posted in like forever, but last night something inspired me. The coolest band in the entire world. All the band members were kilts. They are ENTER THE HAGGIS!!!!

Official Website of Enter the Haggis

Dude these dudes rock. They're like irish/scottish punk...dudes. lol

you guys gotta see them in concert. They opened for the Elders. (LDRS for those who are down with the Men of Erin)

Gasoline

Outside around the side
form a circle forwar i'm an
outsider on the side
formerly a farm-boy
inside i'm on the side
i'm divided undecided
back then around again
second time's a charm boy
Upside mortified
rubber-necking bottle-necking
smoke-stacks cigarettes
polish on the details
i try to stay inside
eyes and ears and curtains closing
they lie on their sides
casualties of retail
Back then the earth was green
dirt was black and the air/water was clean
and then upon the scene
cars and trucks and gasonline
inside i'm petrified
i don't want to hide/watch it anymore
Black or white/left or right or in between
i'm never really sure which way i lean
hey mister what does it mean he said
cars and trucks need gasoline.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:13:19 GMT

Push th' Little Daisies

Ween

When you lie, kiss your baby bye bye bye
And if you're true, the whole wide world will laugh with you
When we see nothing's wrong with you and me
Time will tell, it might even bring a wedding bell

If you think that I'm a loser
Well you suck, 'cause you know I ain't nothin' but a user
Of your love I can't get enough
Girl it's true, the whole wide world is smiling with you

Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up [4x]

Sometimes I know, and sometimes I'm on the go
But I'm comin' back, so don't give me no flack, yeah
It's all you, and it's me too
And it's your world, you's the girl, you's the girl
Happier than shit, things that might go click with me
Click with you, is that love? Is that love, ohhh...

Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up [8x]

Watch the little daisies grow, little daisies grow
Now just push th' little daisies and make 'em come up
Watch them grow, watch them grow
As I push the little daisies and make 'em come up
Make 'em come up, make 'em come up,
Make 'em come up, say

Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up [7x]

Friday, February 04, 2005

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 22:45:24 GMT

Men of Erin

the Elders

Please don't cry, my mother,
As you sit by the hearth
I will dance your memories, with joy in my heart
I will go now and pray as I travel this land
And live by the lessons you gave

Fare thee well, my boy
As you wander this night
Be nor fear'd in the darkness
My heart is your light

As you go, brave men of Erin
Faith and love by your side
I will dream of your peace in the night

Please don't cry, my father,
as you sit by the hearth
I will dance your memories with joy in my heart
I will go now and pray as I travel this land
And live by the lessons you gave

Fare thee well, my boy,
as you wander this night
Be not fear'd in the darkness,
my heart is your light

As you go brave men of Erin
Faith and love by your side
I will dream of your peace in the night

Please don't cry, my children,
As you stand by my grave
I have danced your memories all of my days
I will go now and pray as I travel this land
And live by the lessons you gave

Monday, January 24, 2005

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 18:01:29 GMT

Walking with a ghost

no matter which way you go
no matter which way you stay,
you're out of my mind
out of my mind.
i was walking with a ghost,
and i said please, please dont insist
i was walking with a ghost,
and i said please, please dont insist.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:51:36 GMT

tomorrow makes 11 months me and emily have been together. isnt that crazy??? seems like only yesterday i was wondering if i'd ever meet the girl of my dreams. 11 months ago tomorrow, i found her

Monday, December 06, 2004

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 20:40:49 GMT

okay havent posted in awhile, no one cares cuz no one reads except emily lol

figured i'd post up some lyrics...

Toy Soldier by Martika

(this is the song that eminem samples on the best track of his new album, 'like a toy soldier')

Step by step ,heart to heart ,left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
It wasn't my intention to mislead you
It never should have been this way
What can I say
It's true I did extent the invitation
I never knew how long you'd stay
When you hear temptation call
It's your heart that takes ,takes a fall
Won't you come out and play with me
Step by step ,heart to heart ,left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit torn apart We never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
It's getting hard to wake up in the morning
My head is spinning constantly
How can it be
How could I be so blind to this addiction
If I don't stop the next one's gonna be me
Only emptiness remains
It replaces all ,all the pain
Won't you come out and play with me
Step by step ,heart to heart ,left right left

and the other is the funniest song in the wholewideworld, no i didnt forget spaces, i was just sayin that really fast for emphasis

Underwear Goes Inside the Pants

by Lazyboy

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It?s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what?s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical
resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for
something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can?t watch TV for four minutes
without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: Do you ever wake up tired in the morning??
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is?
people running in fields or flying kites
or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now? It is all about
self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids? self-esteem,
make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals
before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night
with my new high speed connection

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty
way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright??
Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just??
Who?s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you??

Americans, let?s face it:
We?ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
How'd you get through it grandpa??
Oh, it was horrible Johnny,
there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars
instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel
you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that
It?s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school,
do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker
with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
You'll see. I?m going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them.

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then
I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do
Save it up and buy a wall unit
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack
He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy
and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing
his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I?m pretty sure even McDonalds has a
underwear goes inside the pants policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 23:08:35 GMT

ok so i saw this toy from McFarlane. Its from the faces of madness line. This one figure i thought was awesome. Its based on this noble lady that thought the fountain of youth, was bathing in the blood of virgins....

here's the story:

ERZSÉBET (ELIZABETH) BÁTHORY

Countess of Transylvania, vampire: Born 1560/61; died, August 21, 1614.

In order to improve her complexion and also to maintain her failing grasp on her youth and vitality, she slaughtered six hundred innocent young women from her tiny mountain principality...

The noble Báthory family stemmed from the Hun Gutkeled clan which held power in broad areas of east central Europe (in those places now known as Poland, Hungary, Slovakia, and Romania), and had emerged to assume a role of relative eminence by the first half of the 13th century. Abandoning their tribal roots, they assumed the name of one of their estates (Bátor meaning 'valiant') as a family name. Their power rose to reach a zenith by the mid 16th century, but declined and faded to die out completely by 1658. Great kings, princes, members of the judiciary, as well as holders of ecclesiastical and civil posts were among the ranks of the Báthorys.

Adopting an exalted name did not alter some basic familial preferences among lesser lights however, and in order to consolidate more tenuous clingings to influence there was considerable intermarriage amongst the Báthory family, with some of the usual problems of this practice produced as a result. Unfortunately, beyond the 'usual problems' some extraordinary difficulties arose (namely hideous psychoses) and several "evil geniuses" appeared, the notorious and sadistic Erzsébet the most prominent of them.

Truly, she was evil enough to be recognized as one of the original "vampires" who later inspired Bram Stoker to write the legend of Dracula -- but unlike Stoker's story, she was real.

Unusual for one of her social status, she was a fit and active child. Raised as Magyar royalty, as a young maid she was quite beautiful; delicate in her features, slender of build, tall for the time, but her personality did not attain the same measure of fortuitous development. In her own opinion her most outstanding feature was her often commented upon gloriously creamy complexion. Although others were not really so equally impressed with the quality of her rather ordinary skin, they offered copious praise if they knew what was good for them, as Erzsébet did not accept unenthusiastic half-measures of adulation; and she was vindictive.

She was only 15 when she was 'married off' for political gain and position to a rough soldier of (nevertheless) aristocratic stock and manner. By reason of the marriage, she became the lady of the Castle of Csejthe, his home, situated deep in the Carpathian mountains of what is now central Romania, but which then was known only as Transylvania. Located near no exciting urban center, the castle was surrounded by a village of simple peasants and rolling agricultural lands, interspersed with the jagged outcroppings of the frozen Carpathians.

While the picturesque setting embraced a bucolic tapestry of ideal small fields, meandering stone walls, quaint cottages, a few satisfied brown cows, and goats with tinkling bells about their necks scampering amongst the chickens, life here was uneventful. The castle was typical for its day and place: cold, dun, gloomy, damp, dark; unlike the cozy thatched houses of the peasants below.

While her husband was pursuing his passion, the soldier business, and off on various campaigns, for Elizabeth -- who did not wish to amuse herself in the out-of-doors where those loutish peons were grubbing in the mud -- life became poundingly boring in very short order. Being an energetic teenager, although one with a view and experience of life which was 'special,' she set about finding novel amusements to occupy her days.

Her tastes were of a certain slant, and consequently she began to gather about herself (as her ample financial resources readily accommodated) persons of peculiar and sinister arts. These she welcomed into her presence, affording them commodious lodging and lavish attention to each of their most singular needs and interests. Among them were those who claimed to be witches, sorcerers, seers, wizards, alchemists, and others who practiced the most depraved deeds in league with the Devil and too painful to mention even in a story such as this. They taught her their crafts in intimate detail and she was enthralled. But learning such unspeakable things was not enough.

War in the 16th century was a brutal affair. While fashionably fighting the Turks and attempting to gain information from prisoners captured, her husband employed a horrid device of torture: clever articulated claw-like pincers, fashioned of hardened silver; which, when fastened to a stout whip would tear and rip the flesh to such an obscene degree that even he, a cruel man, abandoned the apparatus in disgust and left it at the castle as he departed on yet another heroic foray.

Elizabeth was not alone in her 'unusual' interests. Aware of Elizabeth's complex preoccupations, and amused by them, her aunt had introduced her also to the pleasures of flagellation (enacted upon desolate others of course), a taste Elizabeth quickly acquired. Equipped with her husband's heinous silver claws, she generously indulged herself, whiling away many lonely hours at the expense of forlorn Slav debtors from her own dungeons. The more shrill their screams and the more copious the blood, the more exquisite and orgasmic her amusement. She preferred to whip her 'subjects' on the front of their nude bodies rather than their backs, not only for the increased damage potential, but so that she could gleefully watch their faces contort in horror at their most grim and burning fate.

Her husband died in 1604 (some say 1602) of stab wounds imposed on him by a harlot in Bucharest whom he had not paid, and Elizabeth immediately dreamed of a lover to replace him, since she never cared for him in the first place -- so much for her mourning. However, the mirror showed her that her prurient indulgences, as well as time, had taken their toll on her appearance. Her 'angelic' complexion had long since faded to something less than perfection; she had reached 43. Her desire for a lover did not fade; she raged deep within, cursing time.

Such a simple interest as a new husband was not to rule the day, it was merely a detail. With the demise of her husband, prowling highly placed men began to smell a ripe opportunity to seize the power and influence encapsulated in the Báthory name; likely by acquiring her and then eliminating her. As well, she was next in line to become King of Poland, and she wanted the job. This seeming anomaly was possible within the governing constructs of the time, and the office of queen held no political weight. At the same time, she was educated beyond all those around her, reading and writing four languages while the prince of Transylvania was an illiterate boor (who bathed regularly -- every year on his birthday).

Maintaining her youth and vitality became central to this developing plot; the absolute divine right to power she understood was hers to keep and protect would be essential to the attainment of all that she sought. Vanity, sexual desire, drive for political power all were seamlessly blended into a central primordial passion. If she lost her youth, she could forfeit all.

Her mood deteriorated markedly and one day, as she viciously struck a servant girl for a minor oversight, she drew blood when her pointed nails raked the girl's cheek. The wound was serious enough that some of the blood got onto Elizabeth's skin. Later, Elizabeth was quite sure that that part of her own body - where the girl's blood had dropped - looked fresher somehow; younger, brighter and more pliant.

Immediately she consulted her alchemists for their opinion on the phenomenon. They, of course, were enjoying her hospitality and did not wish to disappoint, so, fortunately, they did recall a case many many years before and in a distant place where the blood of a young virgin had caused a similar effect on an aged (but generous) personage of nobility and good grace.

With such clear evidence at hand, Elizabeth was convinced that here was a brilliant discovery; a method to restore and preserve her youthful glow forever, or at least until she got what she wanted. The advice of her 'beauty consultant,' a woman named Katarina, concurred that her clever realization was most surely sound.

Elizabeth reasoned that if a little was good, then a lot would be better: she firmly believed that if she bathed in the blood of young virgins -- and in the case of especially pretty ones, drank it -- she would be gloriously beautiful and strong once again.

For years, Elizabeth's trusted helper in her various secret pleasures had been Dorotta Szentes. Now with her, and other 'witches' to help carry the load, Elizabeth roamed the countryside by night, hunting for suitable virginal girls as raw material for her difficult quest.

When back in the castle, each batch of young girls would be hung, alive and naked, upside-down by chains wrapped around their ankles. Their throats would be slit and all of their blood drained for Elizabeth's bath, to be taken while the heat of their young bodies still remained in the thickening and sticky crimson pool.

And every now and then, a really lovely young girl would be obtained. As a special treat, Elizabeth would drink the child's blood: at first from a golden flask, but later, as her taste for it increased, directly from the stream, as the writhing and whimpering body hung from the rafters, turning pale.

Although she had held off her political foes, after five years of this enterprise Elizabeth at last began to realize that the blood of peasant girls was having little effect on the quality of her skin. Obviously such blood was defective and better blood was required.

In early 17th century Transylvania, parents of substantial position wished their daughters to be educated in the appropriate social graces and etiquettes, so that they might gain the 'right' connections when ripe. Here was an opportunity.

In 1609, Elizabeth established an academy in the castle, offering to take 25 girls at a time from proper families, and to correctly finish their educations. Indeed, their educations were finished.

Assisted by Dorotta Szentes (known also by the graceful diminutive "Dorka") these poor students were consumed in exactly the same beastly fashion as the anguished peasant girls who preceded them. This was too easy, and Elizabeth became careless in her actions for the first time in her dreadful career. During a frenzy of lust, four drained bodies were thrown off the walls of the castle.

The error was realized too late, for villagers had already seen, collected, and begun to identify the girls. The disappearance of all those young women began to be solved; the secret was finished.

Word of this horror spread rapidly and soon reached the Hungarian Emperor, Matthias II, who immediately ordered that the Countess be placed on public trial. But, her aristocratic status did not allow that she be arrested. Parliament at once passed a new Act to reverse this privilege of station (lest she slip from their hands) and Elizabeth was brought before a formal hearing in 1610. Interestingly, no authority seemed inclined to offer any form of attention to these matters when merely peasant girls had been the subject of Elizabeth's blood-letting for five years previous.

By the final count, 600 girls had vanished; Elizabeth admitted nothing. Dorka and her witches were burned alive, but the Countess, by reason of her noble birth, could not be executed. Katarina was somehow seen as another victim, and was set free.

So, Elizabeth was damned to a death while alive. Sealed into a tiny closet of her castle -- and never let out -- she died four years later.

Elizabeth did not ever utter even a single word of regret, or remorse.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 23:50:58 GMT

Happy 9 month anniversary baby!!!!!

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 18:00:05 GMT

Im feelin goofy, so i will a song for all of you. i shall call it, <slowspeak> good? lol <dr evil eyebrow thing>

Playing the instrument of life with a knife edged pic (in D minor 7 SUS #3)

This song is off the Loose Ass Vagina LP: the lost tapes

When i look at the walls,
theyre white
when i look at the floor,
its like a darkish beige color
BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THE DOOOOOOOR,
its kinda white too

playing the instrument of life with a knife edged pic
goin so far those guitar dudes call it sick-ah
i knew a guy who could play named rick-ah
he shaved his face with a lady bick-ah

So i go to the kitchen now
i drop the pan so its like batman
POW
when i play all the ladies are like,
WOW
if i was chinese my name would be tao
ming bitchhhhh

LOOSE ASS VAGINA HOMEPAGE

EDIT*****

its been brought to my attention that certain individuals might get confused and think that there is in any way a connection to any of me or my bandmates loved ones. Emily is actually quite tight. she's toight, toight like a toiger